Is it too much to recover from?

Last summer i engaged in an affair. My husband was drinking alot and it seemed that was all that mattered to him. Starting after breakfast and continuing on sometimes drinking up to 30 beers a night and doing the same thing the next day. One night very shortly after the affair began, upon returning home, me and my husband had a horrible fight (of course he was completely wasted). My lover just happened to be on his way to Las Vegas and i left my house and went with him. Leaving my husband and children at home. I drove to Vegas with him and his brothers in a Mustang. I had a solid week of some good times and bad times in Las Vegas. Crazy partying, drugs, drinking and what not. In Vegas come to find out the car was stolen from a dealership. It mysteriously disappeared, i think the cops confied it. At this time me and my lover separated from his brothers and caught a bus home. The police intercepted us at the hotel as soon as we got off the bus.They thought i was aiding them. I was scared out of my mind!! We went to my husbands and got my kids and my car and left the state. While gone I quickly came to realize that my lover was not someone i wanted to be around my children. We had some horrible times and in the end i came back to my husband. While i was gone my husband had a girlfriend ( i cant blame him but it still hurts to know that she was in my bed in my house). Our house was also broken into and it turned out to be the brothers of my lover who did it. He still let me come back. When i got back he told me that he also spent alot of money on a female escort before i ever cheated on him. So now here i am in this messed up marriage. Feeling very similar to how i felt before i cheated on him. He did curb his drinking. He now only drinks a 6 pack on week nights and a 12 pack on weekend nights.Starting only after the children are in bed. But i am still left feeling lonely. I am a stay at home mom. He works sometimes 60-70 hour weeks. We also have a problem. I want more than he does. I find myself often being rejected when asking for it which hurts a lot. I feel isolated. I never leave my house except to go to the grocery store. I have no friends and no family that live in this state. Ever since i came back i deal with some serious guilt and shame and depression from just thinking about what i did to him and my family. Now we r having problems again and i dont know what to do. I have learned from my mistakes and will never do anything like this again but i am worried about why i did it in the first place. and maybe these feelings i am having now are just some of the same problems that we were having prior to the mess. I feel lost, like i dont know who i am anymore. i just need some advice or feedback or something. Someone to talk to.