Tingling numbness and pain during ?

I'm 21 and have had issues with ever since I started having it. To the point Where I eventually have no desire to have it which ruins relationships. Well I'm with someone new and the desire Is Really strong but I still cannot enjoy . It hurts still even when I focus on just relaxing. With my ex He would just shove it all in and it would hurt so bad and I think its made me kinda get tense no matter what. On top if the pain I start to get numb and tingly after a while. My face goes numb my legs and hands will tingle. My lips will quiver. But its not like..a pleasurable thing..when it gets to that point I'm Just praying for him to finish. I am Really tired of getting Nothing But discomfort out of : ( idk what to do to fix this.