What's happening to my libido?

I can't answer your entire question, but I will address part of it in a manner that might just help both of you. When she is stressed, instead of becoming ual with her (which you admitted is a no-win situation for both of you when she is stressed), why not give her a foot mage or a back mage..... with no expectation for . It'll help her de-stress and you will feel good that you are helping her feel better. Perhaps the next night she'll return the favor. Don't get so fixated on the ual aspect of your relationship.... there are so many ways of helping your partner feel good that have absolutely nothing to do with your genitalia